Humour – all kinds

An Ambitious MLA Phones The Chief Ministers Residence  Later After Midnight. The CM’s Personal Assistant Answered The Call. I Need To Talk Urgently With The CM..It’s A Matter Of  Emergency Explained The MLA After Much Cajoling The CM’s Personal Assistant Agreed  To Wake Up The CM. So What Is So Important That It Could Not Wait  Until Morning..Grumbled The Sleepy CM The Home Minister Just Died..Explained The MLA  And I Would Like To Take His Place Begged The MLA. Well..It’s Okay With Me Agreed The CM.. If It’s Okay With The Crematorium..You May Very Well Go Ahead And Take His Place Instead..! Sonia Gandhi In “Kaun Banega Karodpati” Amitabh : Soniaji, Ab Aakhri Saval, 5 Crore Ke Liye. Who Is The Chief Minister Of Gujarat? Your Options Are… A) LALOO PRASAD. B) VILASRAO DESHMUKH. C) ARJUN SINGH. D) NARENDRA MODI.. Soniaji : It’s Narendra Modi. Amitabh : Are You Sure ? Lock Kar Doon? Sonia :  If You Really Lock Him Up, I Will Give You 100 Crores! Jailer To Ajmal Kasab  :  You Are So Happy Today? Kasab : I’m Not Indian, I Hate India, I Killed Indians  But I’m Very Safe In India. Journalist To Anna Hazare : You Are So Sad Today? Anna :  I’m Indian, I Love My India And Indians,  But Feel Unsafe… I’m Not Sure When I Will Be Killed God Decided To Encourage People To Have  Fewer Children So Every One had Adequate Of Everything On Earth To Enjoy.. So He Introduced An Award Scheme… During The Procedure At One Point, He Concentrated  On Learning About The Situation In India…. He First Met Jawaharlal Nehru In Heaven, And Asked Him  How Many Children He Had During His Time On Earth. Nehru Replied… Only One! Happy With The Relatively Good Family Planning Adopted, God Awarded Nehru With A Celestial Rolls Royce!Indira Gandhi Was Next, And God Asked The Same Question. She Replied She Had Two Children. God Thought, Not Too Bad, So He Gave Her A BMW.Dr. Radhakrishnan Was Next In Line. God Was Not Pleased To Hear That He Had Six Children, And Gave Him A Morris-8 As A Kind Punishment… Sometime Later….. The Three (Nehru, Indira And Radhakrishnan) Going Around In Their New Cars, Saw Mahatma Gandhi On Foot !!! Wondering What Went Wrong…? They Asked Why God Hadn’t Been Merciful With Him… The Mahatma Replied In Disgust, “God Did Not Even Ask Me !!!…. Some Idiots Had Told Him That I’m The Father Of The Nation ! In View Of The Current Situation In Pakistan…   The “Pakistan Zindabad” Slogan Has Been Changed To “Pakistan Se Zinda Bhaag.” Last Month A World-Wide Survey Was Conducted By The UN. The Only Question Asked Was… “Could You Please Give Your Honest Opinion About Solutions To The Food Shortage In The Rest Of The world ?”  The Survey Was A Massive Failure Because Of The Following:  In The Indian Subcontinent They Didn’t Know What  “Honest” Meant.  In Western Europe They Didn’t Know What “Shotrage” Meant.  In Africa They Didn’t Know What  “Food” Meant. In China They Didn’t Know What  “Opinion” Meant. In The Middle East They Didn’t Know What “Solution” meant.  In South America They Didn’t Know What “Please” Meant.  In The USA They Didn’t  Know What “The Rest Of The World” meant.       maheshmshah@yahoo.com     1-6-2012