Posted by: vmbhonde | मार्च 3, 2011

new jokes


 Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.
When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died,
he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.. One evening at an
investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away. “I may look like just an ordinary man,”
he said to her, but in just a few years, my father will die, and I’ll inherit $200 million.”
Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later,
she became his stepmother.


A 45 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital..
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.(You’ll love this!!!)

God replied: ‘I didn’t recognize you…!’

1. A small boy opens the door and looks at his sister’s boy friend and asks innocently “Every day you come to meet my sister , don’t you have your own sister”

2. Santa went for an interview Bank manager: what is cyclone ? Santa: It is a smallest loan given by bank to buy a cycle.

3. Innocent kid handling his breakup … Main tumhe bhulne ki bahut koshish karta hun, par kya karun mummmy roj BAADAAM khila deti hai. Aur muje tumhaari YAAD fir see aa jaati hai

4. Pintu was having habbit of eating nails of his hand, His parents sent him to Ramdev Baba for treatment.. . . . Now Pintu can also eat nails of his legs..

5. Teeth said 2 Tongue ” If I just press u little hard, you will get cut. Tongue replied: “If I misuse 1 word against some 1, then all the 32 of u will come out at once

6. Ek bachha door bell bajaane ki koshish kar raha tha. Ek old man ne dekha aur bell baja di.Aur bachhe se bola: Aur kuch beta? Bachha: Ab bhaago.

7. Santa: Doctor ye maala kis ke liye hai ? Doctor: Ye meri life ka first operation hai. Safal ho gaya toh mere liye, nai toh tumhaare liye.

8. Dada(Grand Father): Beta ja paani le aa. Pota(Grand Son): Mai nai laa sakta, mai game khel raha hun 2nd Pota (Second grand son): Rahne do dada g, ye to hai he BADATMEEZ… . … .. … .. .. Ap khud he ja k le aao.

9. World’s shortest poem.. Baba black sheep have u any wool? .. .. … .. . sheep: NO, get lost.

10. Jinn : Kya huqum hai mere Aaka ? Aaka: Mere account me jaldi se 10 crore rs aur katrina se shaadi 10 sec me karwa do. Jinn: Aaaka, huqum karo…bakwaas mat karo !!!

11. Police: Oye, carparking ki jagah bike kyu park ki hai ? Santa: just smiled and said “sirf do pahiyon ka farak hai UNCLE, aa jayenge

12. Ek dukhi aadmi bola: Aisi zindagi se toh maut achhy. Achanak yamdoot aya aur bola : Tumhaari jaan lene ka huqum hai. Aadmi: lo kar lo baaat, ab insaan majaak b nai kar sakta.

13. A poor man of U.P catches a fish but can’t cook due to No gas No electricity No Oil Man puts fish back in to river. Fish comes up and shout “Mayaavati zindabaad

14. Santa london k ek hotel me murgi khaane gaya lekin murgi ka english word bhool gaya Waiter: What would you like to have sir ? Santa: 1 plate Egg’s mother

15. Pathan Ladki se: I Love you ! Ladki:Tameez se baaat karo Pathan: Bismilllah Hir rehman Nir Reheeem, with due respect I beg to say that “I Love you”.

16. Taj Mahal ko dekh kar bola shahjahan ka pota.. Taj Mahal ko dekh kar bola shahjahan ka pota. Aj apna bhi bank balance hota agar dada aashiq na hota.

17. Galib ne GF ko date par bulaaya aur wo late ayi. GF: sorry, I am late. Galib: Falak pe chand sitaaron ko neend aa rahy hai, dossri ka time ho gaya aur tu ab aa rahy hai.














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